Grow Your Own

ONE way to beat the Credit Crunch is to get crunching on your own vegetables.

Unfortunately, I have the opposite of green fingers (purple toes?) and previous efforts to ‘grow my own’ haven’t been particularly successful. Slugs and other leaf and root-munching little creatures set up home all too readily in my garden.

I only have to walk past a plant for it to shrivel up and die in front of my eyes. I can get a cutting, water it with tears, dip it in rooting powder, keep it in a polythene bag in the airing cupboard, pray over it, cast magic spells, and wait for it to start shooting. And wait. And wait. And wait.

I really ought to apply to the BBC’s Gardener’s World project. The programme is looking for three North Devon gardeners to take part in a special televised course which aims to improve the basic skills of keen gardeners in the area.

It’s all very cloak and dagger at the moment with filming taking place ‘at a top secret location’ somewhere on the outskirts of Barnstaple. The course will offer a grounding in the basics of gardening including planting, pruning and propagating.

Anyone interested should email Howard Shannon at howie.shannon@bbc.co.uk and include their contact details, a little bit about themselves and why they want to take part in the course. There's not much time left to apply, so you will need to get moving.

An easier option – and one I will definitely take up – is to attend a Grow Your Own Veg Day at Eggesford Gardens on Sunday, February 22 (11am- 4pm; free entry).

There will be advice on selecting the best crops for your garden along with growing tips from local horticultural expert David Loder. There will also be special offers on the day along with fun and games and competitions for all the family.

For more information go to http://www.eggesfordgardens.com/

You never know, I may even end up understanding that arcane language in which gardening seems to be conducted.

Friends and family ask me things like, "Did you remember to prep the soil?" I might have. I might not have. What's it to you? "Do you double dig?" Look, I have trouble getting my ass in gear to single dig. "Some cultivars would look good over there." No doubt. So would some Bolivars, Magyars and Tartars, as long as they knew about gardening.

Yes, it's definitely time to turn over a new leaf.